Something Just Totally New

While I was sitting at my laptop this rainy Friday, slowly leveling up my Worgen on WoW, I came up to the brilliant idea of posting a certain piece of work here to see what you guys think.

Now that piece of work happens to be the composed, novel-format of a roleplay I started on Figment called Briar Valley.

I wasn't really sure what I was expecting when I started it, but it has grown into something massive that I decided to record.

Now, the RP is a crazy spin off of 'Alice in Wonderland', with the base similarities, but a bunch of added ones, and also some twisted concepts.

For example, in this world, there is a force (I guess you can call it that), called the MIST - but more on that later.

Basically what I decided was that I'm going to post the chapter by chapter completion of the novel (or, as far as you can get calling it an actual novel.)

It'd really difficult organize it as such because, for those of you who have or who are currently RPing, posts for different characters happen sporadically, and even in the middle of different conversations. So in truth, doing this task is quite difficult.

I think I'm working on a chapter seven right now, however the RP itself is WAAYYY past what I'm recording right now.

However, I've posted the novel on Figment, but I'm thinking of also posting it here to get some more feedback, such as how to make it more official sounding (such as: cutting out a character and rewriting parts because that character posted twice and then left *sad face*).

I'll post the beginning of chapter one right here now, and if you guys like it, I'll make a page with some explanations, post the rest of chapter one, then, hopefully, post the rest of the chapters as well.

I guess I should tell you why I'm doing this. Well, here it goes...

I'm hoping that once this RP is finished, or if it ends prematurely I'll finish writing the novel, I'll edit, maybe even rewrite, the ENTIRE novel to make it official  then get it published under the names of everyone who contributed from the RP.

Crazy, right?

Anyhow, for now, I'd say, check out the over, read the beginning, and please please tell me what you think.

I should also mention there is a bit or swearing (I can't tell you exactly where), but nothing horrendously rated R or anything. Mostly just random exclamations when a character gets angry at something (but I don't think I had to explain that).
OH, I should also, um... er... say that there are a couple, rather, gruesome scenes involving Dr. Stine (as you will come to know). Not so much along the lines of fighting, but for "scientific discovery." Emphasis on the quotation marks.
However, I personally think it's hilarious, but I'll wait to see what you guys have to say.

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"Oh DOCTOR!" came the voice from outside the darkroom. It was a rather large house all together - well, large on the scale of comparing houses of Club Alley - mainly because it was part of the Master’s personal mansion-like residence. Marcus Club, also know well as the Master, ruled over the large, wood-and-thatch-and-broken-cobble stone “city” of Club Alley, snuggled between tall, dark trees with an ominous mud road leading in an out, usually a clear sign that you were going the wrong way.

Dr. Emile Stine sprang from his bed and kicked his door open to walk into the main room, rubbing his mussy, dark brown hair as he went and straightening a dark gold vest. Once in his lab, he saw his friend, Berny, pushing a gurney with a man strapped into it.

"Yeeeees?" Emile said, jumping into a chair and rolling it next to Berny to look at the man on the bed. "My God, what has happened to this poor man? His face is hideous!"

"He was born that way sir."

"I'm so sorry, you are a brave soul indeed.” He took a chart from Berny's hand and looked it over. Seeing as it was the Master's handwriting, Emile spoke in his voice:

"Dear Emile, there should be a Dr. in front of that, this is Mr. Jefferson. It is my sad duty to report that he has failed to pay for his zyhdrate fix and his debt is too much to let slip by. So he has sold his body to you in the hopes for scientific discovery.

Best of luck; the Master"

Emile tossed the clipboard away and hopped on top of Jefferson, straddling him over his chest. "Is this true?" The man was gagged so he couldn’t reply. All he managed was a feeble croaking noise. "Sounds like a yes to me!" Emile shouted in delight. “Berny, to the operating room!”

As he was rolled in that direction, he spotted Juva walking briskly down the long hallway, delivering recent results to the Master. She stopped by as Berny and the doctor were just leaving. She looked on with wide and care-to-explain eyes at the duo - Berny being, well, wonderful Berny, and the Doctor sitting on top of a poor man.

Somehow, however, she wasn't surprised. "Care to inform me, gentlemen?" Juva asked, deadpan. She looked over to scrutinize the subject. "Nice face," she mentioned. "Zhydrate debtor?"

Zhydrate was a drug Dr. Stine had invented - an addictive serum that made patients, for a while, exceptionally giddy, strong, and completely partial to ideas. Once it wore off, the patient wanted, needed, more, and would pay for weekly doses. Once they ran out of money, their body was usually sold to the doctor.  

Berny nodded in response.

She mirrored the movement. "Be right there," she called. She didn’t need to watch, but most of the time she found herself morbidly curious. Like many women who could survive in the alley, she found she wasn't squeamish around blood, and could even help sometimes if there were - to put it in the words of the Doctor - 'wonderful difficulties'.

Sometimes she would accidentally look into the eyes of the experimentee and feel a flash of regret, but that was where her cold detachment helped. Besides, their fault for buying the drug. You reap what you sow, and such.

She shook head, about to take back her words. She needed to get the Master's room in order, being his personal secretary of sorts - heaven knows how bad the mess is this time. He liked to slap papers down and leave. However as she made to move on, she was stopped by the doctors voice.

"Oh, it's a terrible thing my dear Juva," Emile said, hopping of Jefferson and putting his arm around her, walking her back into the room as the man was still strapped down. "This poor, unfortunate soul only wished to have help with his painful addiction to surgeries, which also leads to his addiction to Zhydrate."

"That makes little sense. Moreover I don't think I understand how it works."

"Well, it goes something like this!" Emile said as he sat Juva down and jumped to a trolley with a projector on it and started it up. As a picture appeared on the wall, he said, "Special thanks to my partner, the Grave-Robber.” The presentation began to play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otdH3SLNx-s (LOL, note from moi, I have no idea what this is, so feel free to completely skip over it, like I did!)

"So Zhydrate comes in a little glass veil,” he said, holding up one; the small clear tube held a bright blue liquid.

"A little glass veil?" Juva asked.

"A little Glass veil!" repeated Berny as Emile took out the injector gun.

"And the little glass veil goes into the gun like a battery."

"HEERM HERRM!" Jefferson tried to cry.

Emile looked to the man. "And the Zhydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy," he went on as he pressed the injector against Jefferson's head and pulled the trigger. A shot of the blue liquid seeped into Jefferson's skull and he stopped struggling. "And when the gun goes off, it sparks and he's ready for surgery.” Emile paused, then shouted, “SURGERY!" Berny handed him an automated bonesaw and he revved it's battery.

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Laterz!
~Emma


P.S.
This is also being worked on over at Just Emma Games.

P.P.S.
Please pardon typos from the actual post, I'm rushing this and didn't have time to edit. I'll come back to that later.